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The Decision to Grow Up

“And once they take it away, you never get it back.” This is the statement that emphasizes the reality of abortion and the effect it has on a woman; no matter what she feels at the time, she is never the same and she knows that life is changed forever.

In Hemingway’s short story “Hills Like White Elephants,” we are shown how fragile a relationship between two lovers is once reality sets in.    Hemingway puts us at a “train station between two sets of tracks in the sun.”  The sun seems to represent reality and the bright light of day that we are all faced with at some point in our lives.  The man chooses to sit in the warm shadow of the building, perhaps to block out the light of the reality that he and Jig are facing, the choice of how to handle this unwanted pregnancy.  At this train station there is a bar and when alcohol is mixed with the shadows the man is able to find comfort from the sun and the ever-present choice that he must deal with in the event that Jig chooses to keep the baby.   <<<Replace “choice” with his attitude about the baby in order to remove the repetition of “choice”-“chooses.”>>>

Jig is referred to as a girl, but she is in fact a young woman faced with the problem many young women find themselves faced with.  She is pregnant and in a relationship with a man who is superficial and not interested in pursuing a deep and meaningful life together with her.  Hemingway used the hills to represent the ups and downs of life.  Just when we get to the top of one, (Jig and the American’s relationship seemed to be at the top before the pregnancy) we realize that we have to climb another.  I think that Jig saw her pregnancy and the challenges that it would bring as wonderful.  She say’s “they’re lovely hills.”  When Jig says, “they look like white elephants” she is remarking on how rare and beautiful a child is, just as a white elephant would be a rare and beautiful site in nature.  The American says “I’ve never seen one” and Jig pointedly remarks that he wouldn’t have.  This tells me that she feels the beauty of unborn life as only a mother to be can and that she realizes that he has no way of knowing how she feels.

The unrelenting heat represents the steaminess of the sexual relationship between Jig and the American.  Jig can feel the heat from their love affair, but is faced with the consequences of the same.  When Jig looks out over the fields and sees the grain, she feels that life is supposed to reproduce just as the grain produces seed and begins the life cycle again.  When she looks back into the bar and the train station, she sees and feels the dry barrenness of an ended pregnancy and the loss of life that she would be responsible for should she terminate the pregnancy.

As Jig moves to the end of the station and stares out over the fields, a cloud passes over and she realizes that no matter what choice she makes, there will be darkness in her life.  If she ends the pregnancy, she can continue the relationship with the American, but she realizes that things will never be the same, as evidenced by her statement, “It isn’t ours anymore.”  Jig realizes that his life is going in a simple direction, while her life is complicated and will never be the same.  Jig is hopeful that he will see this pregnancy as a positive thing.  She says, “And we could have all this.”   She wants him to want this child as she does, but she knows that will never be since he has told her, “That’s the only thing that bothers us.  It’s the only thing that’s made us unhappy.”  The American is trying to convince her that there will be no problems once the pregnancy is dealt with.  Hemingway offers us an insight into the character of the American and his happy-go-lucky lifestyle when he has him order drinks repeatedly and tells of the labels on the suitcases showing the hotels where many nights were spent together as lovers.

The American makes his argument for the positive side of her having an abortion.  He repeatedly tells her that it is simple and she will be so happy afterwards.  She is somewhat less convinced and much more sarcastic when she tells him that she knows many who have made the same choice.  Jig leads us to believe that these women are not happy with their choice.  The American tells her that once they let the air in, it is natural from that point on.  Hemingway uses the air to represent a cleansing of sorts.  A way to blow away the past and let things start fresh, as a breath of fresh air makes things so much more peaceful.  The American is looking for fresh air and a cleansing of a mistake that he has made.

When Jig is asked to come back into the shade, the American is asking her to return to his way of thinking, to come back into the shadows where life is simpler and things don’t look so clear.  Jig realizes that no matter how simple the procedure is that the relationship between them will never be able to continue if she follows through with the abortion.

Jig continues grasping for any sign that the American loves her and is willing to let the pregnancy continue.  She wants to feel loved and wanted, and she wants him to be in favor of the child.  She realizes that he is only patronizing her when he say’s “I think it’s the best thing to do.  But I don’t want you to do it if you don’t really want to.”  Jig knows the relationship is over but she continues to try to win his love as she says, “And if I do it you’ll be happy and things will be like they were and you’ll love me?”  Jig’s desperation is apparent when she says that she doesn’t care about herself.  She is trying to goad him into changing his position on the subject.  When this type of mind game fails, Jig almost begs him when she says, “Doesn’t it mean anything to you?  We could get along.”

As she realizes that his mind is made up, she shows her emotions for the first time when she threatens to scream.  But she quickly regains control once the woman comes to warn of the oncoming train.  She is able to smile now because her mind is made up.  The oncoming train symbolizes the urgency of her decision, and how she must move on quickly in order to maintain her resolve to have the baby.  She is now a grown woman with a life to be responsible for without the help of her lover.

When the American leaves to move the bags to the other side of the station, Jig smiles and lets him go.  Hemingway is using his absence at this moment to show Jig taking control of her life and making her choice to stay at the table without him.  The American stops to have a drink, symbolizing his desire to continue his happy-go-lucky lifestyle.  As the man returns to the table Jig tells him, “I feel fine.”  “There is nothing wrong with me.  I feel fine.”

I think in the end that Jig is much more mature than the man and is able to make a life for herself.  The two strands of beads that she takes in her hands represent her life with her child, and the writing on the beads that she cannot read symbolizes the unknown of raising a child alone.  She will succeed and she will learn the language of motherhood, without the man and she will take to the hills to see the wondrous beauty of a rare white elephant.